“There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method” (Herman Melville, Moby Dick, 358).

“The [Lord’s Prayer] teaches us, in all that we do, to hallow the name of God and, in so doing, we discover our true being” (William H. Willimon & Stanley Hauerwas, Lord, Teach Us: The Lord’s Prayer and the Christian Life, 44).

“Thus the origin of knowledge is trinitarian: The Father knows all and reveals truth to us by the grace of His Son through the work of the Spirit in our hearts. Note how each person of the Trinity is involved in the knowing process (cf. 1 Sam. 2:3; Ps. 73:11; Isa. 11:2; 28:9; 53:11; Matt. 11:25f.; Eph. 1:17; Col. 2:3). Thus it is all of God, all of grace. . . . There is a “circular” relation between knowledge and obedience in Scripture. . . . It is certainly true that if you want to obey God more completely, you must get to know Him; but it is also true if you want to know God better, you must seek to obey Him more perfectly” (John Frame, The Doctrine of the Knowledge of God, 42-43).

“Not to know the name of God, not to know how God’s name is hallowed, in other words, not to know how to worship, is to live in fundamental conflict with our true selves. We are created for no better purpose than praise. As Saint Augustine said, ‘because you made us for yourself, our hearts find no peace until they rest in you'” (William H. Willimon & Stanley Hauerwas, Lord, Teach Us: The Lord’s Prayer and the Christian Life, 43).

“Men may tell you that there are difficulties in the Bible, things hard to understand. It would not be God’s book if there were not. And what if there are? You don’t despise medicines because you cannot explain all that your doctor does with them. But whatever men may say, the things needed for salvation are as clear as daylight. Be very sure of this — people never reject the Bible because they cannot understand it. They understand it too well; they understand that it condemns their own behavior; they understand that it witnesses against their own sins, and summons them to judgment. They try to believe it is false and useless, because they don’t like to believe it is true. An evil lifestyle must always raise an objection to this book. Men question the truth of Christianity because they hate the practice of it” (J. C. Ryle, Thoughts for Young Men, 37).

Every day we demonstrate the power of saying yes and no to ourselves about our own use of language. Speaking is a series of consequential decisions about what to say and how and when to express it. By saying no to some of our language (i.e., by not speaking it), we are freer to say yes to God’s Word — and then to communicate the Word to others by how we live as well as by what we literally say (Quentin Schultze, An Essential Guide to Public Speaking, 30-31).

This is applicable in public speaking, certainly. But even more so person-to-person, namely, within a marriage. Speech is powerful and reality-defining. The tongue is a fierce and mighty thing, and a husband and wife must always be discerning what to say and how and when to express it.

Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: so shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. Proverbs 3:3-4

Husbands and wives must demonstrate the power of saying yes and no to their selves with their use of language. The demands of a biblical marriage calls each spouse to be other-centered; it is not concerned with one’s own feelings or thoughts of how one’s spouse needs to make them feel, e.g., the wedding vows:

Psalm 119:76, Let, I pray thee, thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to thy word unto thy servant.

“My wife says Pinterest exists to help guilt-ridden mothers feel guiltier by offering a million ways to be a more perfect mother than you could ever possibly hope to be. And then she still uses it. At Christmas” (Jake Mentzel in The Warhorn, Vol. 1, Issue 4).

“God’s lordship is a deeply personal and practical concept. God is not a vague abstract principle or force but a living person who fellowships with His people. He is the living and true God, as opposed to all the deaf and dumb idols of the world. Knowledge of Him, therefore, is also a person-to-person knowledge. God’s presence is not something that we discover through refined theoretical intelligence. Rather, God is unavoidably close to His creation. We are involved with Him all the time” (John Frame, The Doctrine of the Knowledge of God, 17).

INTRODUCTION

Chapter 1:

This is a call for breaking a “spiritual sweat” for the sake of Spiritual Discipline, i.e., 1 Tim. 4:7 — “Train yourself to be godly.” Connotes casting off all that is getting in the way of godliness; disciplining yourself so you are unencumbered.

Men, we will never get anywhere spiritual without a conscious divestment of the things that are holding us back. What things are weighing you down? The call to discipline demands that you throw it off. Are you man enough? (p. 14)

 We must check our motives for spiritual discipline.

For many, spiritual discipline means putting oneself back under the Law with a series of Draconian rules which no one can live up to — and which spawn frustration and spiritual death. But nothing could be farther from the truth if you understand what discipline and legalism are. The difference is one of motivation: legalism is self-centered; discipline is God-centered. The legalistic heart says, “I will do this thing to gain merit with God.” The disciplined heart says, “I will do this thing because I love God and want to please Him.” There is an infinite difference between the motivation of legalism and discipline! (p. 15)  

 Section 1 – “RELATIONSHIPS”

Author brings up the most important areas for which a man needs to be disciplined, i.e., personal purity, marital faithfulness/discipline, fatherhood, etc. The author does not skirt around the important issues but brings them up right away and addresses them head-on.

Chapter 2 – Disciplines of Purity

The story of King David’s sexual sin with Bathsheba, and his subsequent breaking of all the rest of the 10 Commandments, is a sober reminder that no one is above temptation (2 Samuel 11). Be humble and never let your guard down. Beware of “rationalization”.

Just when we think we are the safest, when we feel no need to keep our guard up, to work on our inner integrity, to discipline ourselves for godliness — temptation will come! (p. 24) 

 Chapter 3 – Disciplines of Marriage

Break a spiritual sweat and discipline yourself in marital faithfulness. Also, do not take your wife for granted. Marital love ought to be a sanctifying love, a love that is efficacious. A benchmark for godly disciplines within marriage:

Is my wife more like Christ because she is married to me? or she like Christ in spite of me? (p. 38)

 Men need to strive for excellence in the discipline of communication in their marriages. Husbands need to be disciplined listeners.

The stereotype is the husband buried in the morning newspaper at breakfast, preferring to read a news agency report of the latest scandal in a European government, the scores of yesterday’s athletic contests, and the opinions of columnists whom he will never meet rather than listen to the voice of the person who has just shared his bed, poured his coffee, and fried his eggs, even though listening to that live voice promises love and hope, emotional depth and intellectual exploration far in excess of what he can gather informationally from The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and The Christian Science Monitor put together [Quotation from Eugene Peterson’s Working the Angles](p.41).

 Chapter 4 – Disciplines of Fatherhood

We must discipline ourselves so that our hearts are turned towards our children. Scripture demands that we not exasperate our children, therefore, we must put on the discipline of “tenderness.” Being “busy” is not the same thing as being disciplined. This truth especially applicable to fatherhood.

Men, time is the chrysalis of eternity — there is no other time but the present. I realize we all go through periods in our lives when we have little time for our families — it is part of the natural rhythm of life. But excessive “busyness” must not be by choice — as it so often is! We must beware of packing our schedules by saying “yes” to things which mean “no” to our families. Now is the time to take time. There is no other! Will you do it? (p. 54)

 Chapter 5 – Disciplines of Friendship

Jesus Christ is the chief example for the discipline of friendship — Christ’s example teaches us that Christian friendship is efficacious, it elevates others.

The deepest of friendships have in common this desire to make the other person royalty. They work for and rejoice in the other’s elevation and achievements. There are no hooks in such friendships, no desire to manipulate or control, no jealousy or exclusiveness — simply a desire for the best for the other” (p. 62).

No matter what our disposition, we need to work at friendliness. We need to be consciously cheerful. We need to ask questions. We need to place ourselves in situations where friendships happen. . . . Men, we must place ourselves in the ways of friendship: an adult Sunday school class, a home Bible study, a men’s Bible study, a men’s breakfast group, men’s retreats, and, especially, a service in some ministry of the church. Women are so much better at this than men. We must learn from them to take the initiative (p. 65).