“These pages rustle with the stealthy movements of strictly orthodox, old-fashioned monsters: werewolves and horrors spawned by the great deep; quasi-humans and robots, vampires and fearsome survivors from the dark abysm of the remote past, abortions from the scientist’s laboratory. Such creatures present a wholesome, indeed a cheerful contrast to the psychological deformities of contemporary sick humor, the pretentious sadism of the latest modern Gothic tale, the revolting hokum of television.”

So said Clifton Fadiman in his foreward [sic] to the 1967 anthology, Famous Monster Tales. In the same spirit, Blaster offers these humble and horrific songs of wholesome, orthodox monsters to cheer you and, hopefully, to edify you as well. These stories are essentially creature features that eerily illustrate a simple fact: human beings are creatures designed by a Creator. “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness.’ So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:26-27)

Because we are created in His image, we understand that God is Holy and Just and that we have become abominations in His sight because of our sin. “There is none righteous, no, not one . . . for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:10, 23) “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way.” (Isaiah 53:6)

All we like monsters have shed innocent blood. “Their throats are open graves. The poison of vipers is on their lips. Their feet are swift to shed blood. There is no fear of God before their eyes.” (Romans 3:13-18)

But thankfully, He is the God who loves monsters. “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.” (John 3:16-18)

These words were written concerning the real, historical Jesus of Nazareth, who walked the Earth in space and time. “For I delivered to you first the of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures.” (I Corinthians 15:3-4)

Thus, those monsters who have confessed their sin to God and believed in His Son, Jesus Christ, have become truly Orthodox Monsters. They are the New Creatures, the Unvamps, the Aliens and Strangers. Indeed, I am the monster who ate Jesus. For He said, “Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For My flesh is food indeed, and My blood is drink indeed. As the living Father sent Me, and I live because of the Father, so he who feeds on Me will live because of Me.” (John 6:54-57) This saying offended the people of Jesus’ day and is still doing so today. Nevertheless, we love and serve the Living Lord of the universe, Jesus Christ, because He first loved us. What are you eating? (What’s eating you?) “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9)

Next Tuesday I will blog through the TMWAJ’s first three tracks: Deploy All Monsters Now!, It Came From Down South, and Hopeful Monsters are Dying Everyday.